Well this was the final week of this semester's Family Relations class.
I have really enjoyed every minute I have spent in this class learning about the family.
I have definitely learned so much and I will remember everything I have learned so that I can use it in my own family.
This last week we talked about the aging family, and how after the kids leave the house... you're still married!
It's important to keep a healthy relationship with your spouse throughout the children years, so when the kids are gone that love is still there and you are able to get along, and enjoy the time you will have alone with your spouse.
It's also important to remember that when your kids are off doing their thing, you let them do their thing and not try to intervene and continue to parent your now adult child.
We read a story about a family that ended up with the parents getting a divorce because the wife's mom was way too invested.
It was a few interesting days and while I'm not even close to reaching those days, I'm glad I know a little what to expect and have some insight.
I am so glad I was able to take this class and learn all of the things that I have!
I have a stronger testimony of families and the responsibility we have to raise families.
I am excited to start my life and be able to implement the lessons I have learned; parenting, marriage skills, family roles, etc. I think because of this class my testimony has grown and my knowledge about the importance of families has grown as well.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Lesson 12!
Over the past few days we have been talking about divorce, and remarriage.
This topic hit home a little bit because I have a family member who has been divorced and remarried, and it's kind of hard on their family.
While sometimes it might be necessary to get a divorce, I definitely think it is something that needs a lot more thought than people usually give it.
The children in these two families that were brought together have been affected so much in a negative way because of it. It makes me so sad to see how much harder their lives are because of this little detour they took.
I have seen how it is hard to have a joint family, but I definitely don't think it's impossible to make it work. My dad also has somewhat of a joint family, and they are our favorite people to be with, because it really seemed to work out in that family!
It scares me a little bit because I'm afraid of divorce or ever thinking that I might have to go through one. So that is something I really think about when I am dating around; making sure I find someone who really shares all of my values and is willing to work hard at hard things.
Getting a divorce isn't the end of the world, however, and I am not trying to say that if it happens your life will be miserable. But it's for sure something to think about before you just run in and sign those papers.
This topic hit home a little bit because I have a family member who has been divorced and remarried, and it's kind of hard on their family.
While sometimes it might be necessary to get a divorce, I definitely think it is something that needs a lot more thought than people usually give it.
The children in these two families that were brought together have been affected so much in a negative way because of it. It makes me so sad to see how much harder their lives are because of this little detour they took.
I have seen how it is hard to have a joint family, but I definitely don't think it's impossible to make it work. My dad also has somewhat of a joint family, and they are our favorite people to be with, because it really seemed to work out in that family!
It scares me a little bit because I'm afraid of divorce or ever thinking that I might have to go through one. So that is something I really think about when I am dating around; making sure I find someone who really shares all of my values and is willing to work hard at hard things.
Getting a divorce isn't the end of the world, however, and I am not trying to say that if it happens your life will be miserable. But it's for sure something to think about before you just run in and sign those papers.
Lesson 11!
In this week's lesson we talked about parenting and were able to watch a few videos about what to do and not to do with our children.
I really have been blessed with great parents and I think they did a fantastic job! ;)
My parents were strict, but not too strict that I was rebellious. They were also lenient but not too much that I didn't have structure. They treated me as parents but were also my best friends. I knew I could tell them anything and trust them with it, and I knew they would love me no matter what. I knew I could tell them about the boys I liked, or the mistakes that I made. They pushed me enough to want to work hard, but not too much that it stressed me out.
I hope that when I am a parent I can be just like them and my kids can respond to me the same way I was able to.
I know there are good and not-so-good ways of parenting and those were demonstrated in the videos but also a lot of times noticeable on a daily basis!
One style of parenting is authoritative. This is basically the parenting style that my parents have, and the style I am going to strive for. There is another parenting style called authoritarian, and these are the parents who are always strict and don't leave room for children to make mistakes basically. And the last major parenting style is permissive. This is when parents just don't care to take time to parent their child, and they usually have hardly any structure.
In my child development class our teacher told us to just remember that we should parent our children the same way Heavenly Father parents us. I think that is the most perfect advice to live by and it will make it so we are great parents and our children turn out successful.
I really have been blessed with great parents and I think they did a fantastic job! ;)
My parents were strict, but not too strict that I was rebellious. They were also lenient but not too much that I didn't have structure. They treated me as parents but were also my best friends. I knew I could tell them anything and trust them with it, and I knew they would love me no matter what. I knew I could tell them about the boys I liked, or the mistakes that I made. They pushed me enough to want to work hard, but not too much that it stressed me out.
I hope that when I am a parent I can be just like them and my kids can respond to me the same way I was able to.
I know there are good and not-so-good ways of parenting and those were demonstrated in the videos but also a lot of times noticeable on a daily basis!
One style of parenting is authoritative. This is basically the parenting style that my parents have, and the style I am going to strive for. There is another parenting style called authoritarian, and these are the parents who are always strict and don't leave room for children to make mistakes basically. And the last major parenting style is permissive. This is when parents just don't care to take time to parent their child, and they usually have hardly any structure.
In my child development class our teacher told us to just remember that we should parent our children the same way Heavenly Father parents us. I think that is the most perfect advice to live by and it will make it so we are great parents and our children turn out successful.
Lesson 10!
This week we talked about fathers.
I personally have the best dad ever! He is loving, caring, hard working, non complaining, big protective guy that I love to death! I know I am a better person because I have him in my life. I am thankful for his example and how hard he works to keep our family happy, healthy, and strong.
I definitely wouldn't be where I am today without him!
I also know that fathers are important in every family. I think that families who have a supporting father, are happier and also have a better outlook on life.
I was blessed with a dad who is a worthy priesthood holder. I also think that having a worthy priesthood holder at the head of a home makes for a happier and blessed family.
I have seen in lives of others how not having a father affects them in a negative way.
My goal is to find someone to marry who is willing to be that hard working guy who will support our family. I am thankful for fathers and the good they have on families, and especially thankful for our Father in Heaven who has blessed us with an earthly father.
I personally have the best dad ever! He is loving, caring, hard working, non complaining, big protective guy that I love to death! I know I am a better person because I have him in my life. I am thankful for his example and how hard he works to keep our family happy, healthy, and strong.
I definitely wouldn't be where I am today without him!
I also know that fathers are important in every family. I think that families who have a supporting father, are happier and also have a better outlook on life.
I was blessed with a dad who is a worthy priesthood holder. I also think that having a worthy priesthood holder at the head of a home makes for a happier and blessed family.
I have seen in lives of others how not having a father affects them in a negative way.
My goal is to find someone to marry who is willing to be that hard working guy who will support our family. I am thankful for fathers and the good they have on families, and especially thankful for our Father in Heaven who has blessed us with an earthly father.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Lesson 9!
A video we watched this week to prepare for class included a little talk by President Eyring talking about how the brethren in the church have councils. There is an order in which each meeting goes, and it makes it so everyone knows what to expect and also so that it's organized. They suggested we use that same system to have councils with our spouses and families.
We also talked about how when we ever have problems or disagreements, we should talk about it as soon as we can to avoid conflict.
Conflict can bring contention, and when there is contention the spirit is not around and we are always striving to have the spirit with us. If we are ever in a place where we and our spouse have an issue, work on trying to agree or finding a solution that will benefit you both as a system.
I believe that if we choose to address our conflicts immediately it will bring us closer as spouses, and it will only get easier to confront each other. It might even make it so conflict happens less. I have seen it in my own life, when I am upfront about something to someone, it only makes it easier to deal with than if I were to ignore it and let it build.
We also talked about how when we ever have problems or disagreements, we should talk about it as soon as we can to avoid conflict.
Conflict can bring contention, and when there is contention the spirit is not around and we are always striving to have the spirit with us. If we are ever in a place where we and our spouse have an issue, work on trying to agree or finding a solution that will benefit you both as a system.
I believe that if we choose to address our conflicts immediately it will bring us closer as spouses, and it will only get easier to confront each other. It might even make it so conflict happens less. I have seen it in my own life, when I am upfront about something to someone, it only makes it easier to deal with than if I were to ignore it and let it build.
Lesson 8!
In this week's lesson we talked about family stress and crisis.
In my family we have never really had to go through any large amount of stress or crisis.
However, I would like to think that if we did go through something big like that, it would only make us stronger. When a family has a lot to deal with, and there is a lot of stress because of a traumatic event, they are going to have to focus on their strengths to be able to get through it. I believe if a family is focusing on their strengths in a critical situation like that, they are forced to come together, and work together to be able to get through it as a family.
I have a testimony of families and that if we work together as a whole, focusing on our strengths, it will only make us stronger, and unite us to the fullest.
In my family we have never really had to go through any large amount of stress or crisis.
However, I would like to think that if we did go through something big like that, it would only make us stronger. When a family has a lot to deal with, and there is a lot of stress because of a traumatic event, they are going to have to focus on their strengths to be able to get through it. I believe if a family is focusing on their strengths in a critical situation like that, they are forced to come together, and work together to be able to get through it as a family.
I have a testimony of families and that if we work together as a whole, focusing on our strengths, it will only make us stronger, and unite us to the fullest.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Lesson 7!
This week in all of my classes our lessons revolved around one subject, and that was sexual intimacy. We talked about it a lot more in this class than my others, however.
I know because of what I have been taught throughout my life and what has been reinforced in this class that sexual intimacy is something that needs to be kept until after marriage, and after marriage only. It is a spiritual thing that should only be shared between spouses. I am thankful for that knowledge I have, because I know that it helps me make better choices. We read a few articles this week where studies showed that saving sexual intimacy until after marriage will strengthen marriages, and there is also a better chance that the marriage will last.
Also, by waiting until after marriage I am reducing the risk of becoming pregnant and not being able to be the best parent I can be.
I know that these rules and guidelines are here for our safety and happiness and I am thankful to attend a university that teaches us these principles so that we can stay on track!
I know because of what I have been taught throughout my life and what has been reinforced in this class that sexual intimacy is something that needs to be kept until after marriage, and after marriage only. It is a spiritual thing that should only be shared between spouses. I am thankful for that knowledge I have, because I know that it helps me make better choices. We read a few articles this week where studies showed that saving sexual intimacy until after marriage will strengthen marriages, and there is also a better chance that the marriage will last.
Also, by waiting until after marriage I am reducing the risk of becoming pregnant and not being able to be the best parent I can be.
I know that these rules and guidelines are here for our safety and happiness and I am thankful to attend a university that teaches us these principles so that we can stay on track!
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Lesson 6!
This week we talked about the transitions in marriage, and mainly focusing on how having children affects the marriage (in a good and bad way). In a power point we saw made by our teacher he showed us how frequently when a couple gets married they are satisfied, and after each child they have their marital satisfaction decreases. A big reason why that happens, I think, is because of miscommunication. Maybe the dad doesn't feel like he is that important because the mom is the one who gets to grow the baby and be close to it. Or maybe after the baby is born the parents are focusing so much on the baby that they aren't caring about each other and their needs. I think that is miscommunication because a lot of these problems can be talked about before the baby is born, so that after it's born there aren't as many problems. As women a way we can help our husbands feel involved with our pregnancies is to involve them in doctors appointments during pregnancy, talking to them about how we feel, and letting them make decisions on baby's name or maybe decorations for the room. Basically always doing things together so he knows he is important in the whole process because of course he is! Babies are also definitely a good thing, because they are growing our families, and bringing us closer to our Savior. He sent those little spirits down because He trusts us to take care of them and give them all the love we possibly can. They can and should also grow us closer as married couples, and to do that we need to make sure we are always on the same page and making decisions together.
I am so looking forward to being able to start a family with my future husband. I am excited to share those experiences with him, and to be able to grow closer to him because of that sweet little spirit. I am thankful that Heavenly Father trusts us with that responsibility and privilege!
I hope that as you read this you can take in to consideration how to become closer to your spouse during pregnancy and raising children so that it is a bonding experience rather than the opposite!
I am so looking forward to being able to start a family with my future husband. I am excited to share those experiences with him, and to be able to grow closer to him because of that sweet little spirit. I am thankful that Heavenly Father trusts us with that responsibility and privilege!
I hope that as you read this you can take in to consideration how to become closer to your spouse during pregnancy and raising children so that it is a bonding experience rather than the opposite!
Friday, October 25, 2013
Lesson 5!
This week we talked about preparing for marriage. I always love these lessons because I am majoring in Marriage and Family Studies! So it is something I am pretty interested in and enjoy. One of the articles we read "Hanging out, Hooking up, and Celestial Marriage" had a quote that went like this:
Basically, there is not only one single person that you can be happy with. And that really stood out to me because we are always taught that there is a "one true love" and that is not true. I think we really need to think about that when we're dating as well. While it is nice to know that we don't have to find "the one" it can also make it a little harder (I think) because if we could end up with more than one person, how do we know if that person is right?! Basically that's when we need to trust in the Lord, and make sure we are constantly praying for his counsel and guidance. If we are listening to what He is telling us, we won't go wrong! He wants us to be the happiest that we can possibly be, and that is extremely comforting. So remember, don't settle! Find the person who is the most right for you, counsel with the Lord, and put a ring on it! We will be happy if we are keeping the commandments, and doing what we can to strengthen our eternal marriages."The first suggestion is for all Cinderellas and Prince Charmings to throw away their glass slippers... there is a very dangerous mind perception embedded in this Cinderella and glass slipper syndrome. It is the focus on finding the perfect person to marry with whom you will live happily ever after. I am convinced that the Lord's plan is to find a right one rather than the one."
Lesson 4!
This week's lesson was a little different than I'm used to. We talked a little bit about a more touchy subject to some people. We talked about same sex attraction. Usually when this topic comes up I start to feel really uncomfortable, and probably mostly because I knew nothing about it. In our lessons this week we watched videos and heard a lot of discussions about the topic, and I realized that I am really quick to judge. There is a lot more background behind same sex attraction than I really thought, and there is usually a reason as to why some people feel the need to be attracted to someone of the same sex. I have noticed in the past week since we studied it, that I have stopped myself from judging, or feeling as uncomfortable when the subject of same sex attraction is brought up. And I am thankful that we were able to talk about it so that those judging feelings could go away. I am also thankful for my life, and for all the blessings that I have, and that I don't have to go through really difficult trials that might bring me to a situation like that. I am thankful for eternal families, and the opportunity I will get to be sealed in the temple to my future husband and eternal companion. I hope that I can be someone who is strong enough to set a good example to others, and maybe even someday be able to help those who want to change.
Here is a video that we watched to prepare for our class discussion. It really helps explain a lot about same sex attraction.
http://vimeo.com/71799175
Here is a video that we watched to prepare for our class discussion. It really helps explain a lot about same sex attraction.
http://vimeo.com/71799175
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Lesson 3!
Lesson 3 was really interesting to me. In this lesson we talked about social class and status. Mostly where people fit in to that scale, and how class and status usually stay the same throughout generations.
There was one particular example about a lady named Tammy.
Tammy is not particularly well off, is a single mom, and has a lot of struggles. But something about Tammy really stands out to me, and it is her ability to be so humble, and grateful for the things that she DOES have; like a house, and food to eat.
She also has a job, and in order to get there has to walk 10.5 miles there and back! That's crazy! I complain about walking to class (about .5 miles) and she was walking in the rain singing. It really made me stop to think about my own life and what I am grateful for and what I should be grateful for.
I am grateful that I live so close to school, and that I even have the opportunity to attend this University.
This is Tammy's story, in case anyone is interested!
Have a wonderful day :)
Lesson 2!
In Lesson 2 we discussed how families are a system, and we all have roles in our families. For example, I am the oldest child. Also both of my parents work, so sometimes I am the one at home keeping the house together while my parents are gone so that it doesn't go crazy. I love being the oldest because all of my 3 younger sisters look up to me, and try to be just like me! While it is a huge responsibility it is also a blessing. It helps me try to work harder so that I can be better for them.
This is my family! I am so grateful for them, and also thankful for the role I have in my family!
Lesson 1!
In Lesson 1 we had a discussion board about whether it matters or not how many children we have.. well, here is my response!
That's how I feel! I am so thankful for my family and the blessing they are in my life. I couldn't live without them! I know Heavenly Father put me in my family for a reason and I am so glad.I definitely think it matters how many children I have. Heavenly Father has given us a gift to reproduce, and I don't think it should be taken lightly. I also know that the world is in a really rough place right now, and it is part of our responsibility to raise strong, steadfast children in the gospel of Jesus Christ so that our families can be strong and be able to resist temptation. The more we raise, hopefully the more people can be taught about the gospel. I also think that for our own sake, having families is such a happy thing. I know when I am with my whole family there is nowhere else I would rather be! So I would love to be the person that starts that new generation of people that I can't live without.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Here is a list of my classmate's blogs!
Anderson, Ashley
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Barney, Camille
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Bohn, Lindsey
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Bowman, Hayley
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Callister, Katrina
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Capener, KateLyn
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Conant, Sydney
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Cruz, Daisy
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Cunningham, Darryl
Durbidge, Samuel
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Eberle, Kristina
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Evans, Brenn
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Fokken, Renee
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Gardner, Kristi
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Gopaul, Katrina
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Hall, Sara Jane
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Hamilton, Mikaila
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Harris-Cumings, Apolonia
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Houser, Britt
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Howell, Lorin
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Hubbard, Nicole
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Ibarra, Marissa
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Ingold, Makenna
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Johnson, Krystle
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Kaiser, Nick
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Kellogg, Mandi
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Little, Emily
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Marshall, Nichole
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Merrell, Stefanie Mic
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Meyers, Caleb
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Minson, Emily
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Moody, Anna
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Pahl, Brianna
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Patrick, Cheyenne
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Pincock, Shanae
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Pottle, Hannah
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Ramos, Sara
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Ream, Cameron
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Roberts, Emily
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Rowley, Brenna
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Skovensky, Ellie
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Snare, Tyler
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Startup, Peyton
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Steiner, Taushalyn
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Stewart, Stephanie
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Stock, Raini
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Stoker, Jessica
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Stone, Brandon
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Whiting, Mollie
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Wilson, Leslie
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Young, Krista
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Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Well hello! My name is Lindy and I am a student at Brigham Young University in Rexburg, Idaho. This blog is for the purpose of writing down my thoughts and feelings about my Family Relations class. Feel free to comment and discuss anything I post! I would love to hear feedback and any opinions anyone might have!
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